Diabetic...really???

Well, actually I was told yesterday by Dr. Kokocinski (down at RUSH) as she wrapped up my blood work and informed me that my knee would not be replaced until I had the DIABETES under control. REALLY DIABETES??

I saw Dr. Margules (my main Doc who I do like)  and was given the cold hard facts about DIABETES. The list of foods that I will, and I quote, "NEVER EAT AGAIN" if I am to 1)stay alive 2) be able to see and 3) not have to pee into a bag.  Big things on that list include: Pizza, Bagels, peanut butter, bananas, pasta, chips...and CHOCOLATE to name a few. Yeah, that word was NEVER. I mean really never is an awfully long time when you are still not quite 50.  So now I am marinating in the loss of some of the foods that I will NEVER eat again.  Who knew that food would play such a big part in someones life.  I mean I get that you need it to stay alive and all but for nearly 50 years eating what I pleased and now....BAM...it's like I am suddenly allergic to all these things at one time.  Dinner tonight was rather sad with me wishing I could have a big salad and soup at Panera with bread and a Green Iced Tea....my usu....instead I got a big salad no soup and no bread...and water...Prison I tell ya. 

But here is the main thing....I want to be here for my boys, to watch them become wonderful, generous, God loving men.  Men...men... they won't be men for man,y many years.....I need to be here all of those. So I have to make this work...no matter what I have to be here to see them date and marry and be all GROWN!! So right here, right now I am asking GOD to H E L P me...I pray to you that you can see me through the worst of these times that you will see me fit to be there for my boys...I give you my heart and my complete trust...